The last real time that I posted anything we were spending our summer at the beach with my parents. As some of you know my dad was diagnosed with a small intestinal cancer. He was undergoing 6 months of chemotherapy at he finished the treatments in December of 2010. Little did we know that he was going to only have a few more months with us. When daddy went for a scan in February of 2011 it showed that the cancerous lesions had returned. He was sent to a surgeon to remove the lesions. On April 19th he had surgery..and our lives will never be the same after that day. The surgery was very succesful..or so we seemed to think. The night after his surgery daddy's kidneys stopped working for some reason. And the doctor he was under hesitated to do anything about it and caused major damage to the kidney. Daddy also went into respiratory failure and he ended up in the ICU for 7 weeks. Making a VERY, VERY long story short, daddies liver also stopped working and he became very jaundiced because the liver would not break down his bilirubin. He also became very swollen due to fluid overload. He was put on a vent and ended up having three surgeries in those 7 weeks. He had so many issues. But he was overcoming them slowly..In fact, he had started to do physical therapy and talking well again after being on a vent and in the bed for so long. And his liver had started working again. Little did we know that he was only going to have a few "great" days with us before things turned for the worst.
On Friday, June 3rd my mom called me to tell me some of the most devasting news you would ever want to hear. Daddy had physical therapy that day, and was doing well until that afternoon. Daddy ended up "crashing" and was having a horrible time with breathing and had to be on the vent again. All day his bicarb levels were dropping and his lab work showed that. (He had labs drawn every four hours.) None of the doctors caught this until it was too late. The doctors ended up doing an ultrasound on his liver and showed that the liver had completly gone into failure. We were told to pack our things and come to the hospital.
On June 4th my daddy went home to be with the Lord. This was probably one of the hardest things I have had to go through. I think what made it worse was my children adore thier gradfather. Daddy was only 53 years old. Mom, my brother and I all made the decision to take daddy off of the three blood pressure medicines that were allowing him to maintain life. He lived until 6:01 p.m. that night. He lived for about a total of an hour after we stopped his support. He did go so peacefully. He was not in any pain and breathed very well. About two minutes before we passed, mom said she wished he would give her one more kiss. He reached his head up and kissed her and then he went to meet our God. Wow! It was so hard because he was there with us but just couldn't fight anymore.
I do know that daddy is in heavven and is fully healed. I am going to be totally honest and say that this has been one of the biggest leaps of faith I have had to take. I have been angry,sad, in denial, angry, depressed, angry...you get the picture! I guess because I am selfish and want him here. Daddy always made us laugh and my children adored him. He and mom have been married 35 years and they did everything together. It was so hard to let him go.
I will say though, that right after this cancer was diagnosed I remember one of my prayers to God was to please not let us see my daddy die from this cancer. I was imagining that if the cancer took over his intestine of how sick he would have been and I know I would not have wanted to see him suffer and die a painful death. As I said daddy was not in pain and was not suffering. He died from liver failure. God did answer my prayer..not in the way that I wanted but it was, for whatever His reason, time for daddy to go home to heaven.
I am thankful that our little child in heaven, Bailey is now with his grangran. My kids here on earth still cry for him and ask why. I tell them what I know about heaven, and how to cherish the memories we have of him, and it's ok to cry! I have no answers...only HOPE and FAITH...
Rest in Peace daddy!
July 3, 1957- June 4, 2011
1 comment:
Amy I know that must have been so hard for you to put into words. Thank you for contining to remind us all to hold our loved ones close! Constantly praying for you and your family. Love you!
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